2008 Woodie Awards
Vote for somebody
Jon Gold - The Daily Iowan
Issue date: 6/27/07 Section: Opinions
Another lurid fantasy:
Welcome, brand-new Sen. John Barrasso, to our TV reality show, "Cavalcade of the Unlikely Politicians!"
You'll join fellow contestants Arnold Schwarzenegger, ("Guten tag!") George W. Bush, ("Howdy!"), Jesse Ventura ("Hooyah!"), and Ronald Reagan ("I'm dead!") in completing a series of tasks, none of which you have any demonstrable ability to complete!
Lurid, but true. A bodybuilder, a half-witted scion of privilege, a professional wrestler, and an actor are joined by a man Time magazine describes as a "former rodeo physician."
OK, that's not quite fair. Barrasso has also served in Wyoming's Legislature, boasting what he called an "A" rating from the NRA, as if that's something to be proud of.
One of the funniest things about the current era in American politics is that both sides clamor for an "end to divisive partisanship" almost as noisily as they cannonade each other with bitterly partisan attacks. No serious political candidate in recent memory has neglected to portray her or his opponent as a "Washington insider" who represents "the politics of division" and who, in her or his spare time, "punches babies," usually all in the same speech. This is, almost literally, how insulting and meaningless American political discourse has become.
People, then, could be forgiven for looking for a third way. After all, if the only two applicants for a job both show up visibly inebriated and snigger at the picture of your wife you keep on your desk, you're unlikely to hire either of them, not even for the position of assistant drunk ogler.
Most experts, however, agree that somebody needs to be president, and as long as "third parties" and "independent candidates" continue to dish up such unappetizing fare as Ross Perot and Ralph Nader, we're going to keep electing Democrats and Republicans. Not that this is some Nostradamian feat of prophecy - "A Democrat or a Republican will win in 2008! No kidding! Will we have flying cars yet?" - but you'd be surprised at how many erstwhile wise people have forgotten all about it in their moralistic chatter about bipartisanship.
First of all, "partisanship" is a very silly label for a very serious thing. For starters, it reminds me of the word "parsnip," which has comparatively little to do with public policy. Serious people with different views of how to run an enormous, wealthy country should disagree, and they should do so at the top of their lungs. Persuade us, by word and deed, that your party is right and the other party is wrong, and we'll vote for you. But this fake Pollyanna act that career politicians do on the campaign trail is blatantly insulting to the voters. Who really expects anyone with a real sense of what's right for the country to sing "Kumbaya" with someone who is diametrically opposed?
Much more insidious than silly prating about bipartisanship is simple abdication. This country - as you should remember from high-school civics - is not, repeat not a democracy, but a republic. You should also remember that you don't have direct control over our government's policy; you merely have a say in choosing who does. "Protest" votes seem to me to be the height of arrogant presumption, akin to tossing out a precious gem because you were holding out for a different color. Let me put this quite clearly: You are an incredibly lucky person to live in this country in this time. You're probably healthier and safer than all but a few people who have ever walked the Earth. This happy state of affairs will not continue if you don't participate in a system that gets weaker and more corrupt every time somebody thinks "my vote doesn't matter." The folks who are ruining the system just love it when that happens. An example: The vice president thinks that he is immune to the law, claiming executive privilege from congressional oversight and legislative privilege from executive orders. If dictatorship ever claims America, it will be to the applause of greedy, power-mad swine like Dick Cheney, and it will have happened on your watch.
I know it's counterintuitive, but participating in the system doesn't make you a bad person. In fact, the system gets better when good people participate in it.
DI Opinions Editor Jonathan Gold used to enjoy parsnips until Dick Cheney shot him in the face, and he promises that this will be the last time he uses that joke for awhile.
Welcome, brand-new Sen. John Barrasso, to our TV reality show, "Cavalcade of the Unlikely Politicians!"
You'll join fellow contestants Arnold Schwarzenegger, ("Guten tag!") George W. Bush, ("Howdy!"), Jesse Ventura ("Hooyah!"), and Ronald Reagan ("I'm dead!") in completing a series of tasks, none of which you have any demonstrable ability to complete!
Lurid, but true. A bodybuilder, a half-witted scion of privilege, a professional wrestler, and an actor are joined by a man Time magazine describes as a "former rodeo physician."
OK, that's not quite fair. Barrasso has also served in Wyoming's Legislature, boasting what he called an "A" rating from the NRA, as if that's something to be proud of.
One of the funniest things about the current era in American politics is that both sides clamor for an "end to divisive partisanship" almost as noisily as they cannonade each other with bitterly partisan attacks. No serious political candidate in recent memory has neglected to portray her or his opponent as a "Washington insider" who represents "the politics of division" and who, in her or his spare time, "punches babies," usually all in the same speech. This is, almost literally, how insulting and meaningless American political discourse has become.
People, then, could be forgiven for looking for a third way. After all, if the only two applicants for a job both show up visibly inebriated and snigger at the picture of your wife you keep on your desk, you're unlikely to hire either of them, not even for the position of assistant drunk ogler.
Most experts, however, agree that somebody needs to be president, and as long as "third parties" and "independent candidates" continue to dish up such unappetizing fare as Ross Perot and Ralph Nader, we're going to keep electing Democrats and Republicans. Not that this is some Nostradamian feat of prophecy - "A Democrat or a Republican will win in 2008! No kidding! Will we have flying cars yet?" - but you'd be surprised at how many erstwhile wise people have forgotten all about it in their moralistic chatter about bipartisanship.
First of all, "partisanship" is a very silly label for a very serious thing. For starters, it reminds me of the word "parsnip," which has comparatively little to do with public policy. Serious people with different views of how to run an enormous, wealthy country should disagree, and they should do so at the top of their lungs. Persuade us, by word and deed, that your party is right and the other party is wrong, and we'll vote for you. But this fake Pollyanna act that career politicians do on the campaign trail is blatantly insulting to the voters. Who really expects anyone with a real sense of what's right for the country to sing "Kumbaya" with someone who is diametrically opposed?
Much more insidious than silly prating about bipartisanship is simple abdication. This country - as you should remember from high-school civics - is not, repeat not a democracy, but a republic. You should also remember that you don't have direct control over our government's policy; you merely have a say in choosing who does. "Protest" votes seem to me to be the height of arrogant presumption, akin to tossing out a precious gem because you were holding out for a different color. Let me put this quite clearly: You are an incredibly lucky person to live in this country in this time. You're probably healthier and safer than all but a few people who have ever walked the Earth. This happy state of affairs will not continue if you don't participate in a system that gets weaker and more corrupt every time somebody thinks "my vote doesn't matter." The folks who are ruining the system just love it when that happens. An example: The vice president thinks that he is immune to the law, claiming executive privilege from congressional oversight and legislative privilege from executive orders. If dictatorship ever claims America, it will be to the applause of greedy, power-mad swine like Dick Cheney, and it will have happened on your watch.
I know it's counterintuitive, but participating in the system doesn't make you a bad person. In fact, the system gets better when good people participate in it.
DI Opinions Editor Jonathan Gold used to enjoy parsnips until Dick Cheney shot him in the face, and he promises that this will be the last time he uses that joke for awhile.
Viewing Comments 1 - 3 of 4
jamers
posted 6/27/07 @ 5:28 PM EST
and to whom do you subscribe to be the almighty worthy candidate......oh righteous indignation #310,353,998.....since you chose Mr.Cheney, to make your "power-mad swine" petition stand (if I were a pig I'd be p'od at another trite animal character assassination), I suggest you come to the kingdom of Chicago area where at least once every two weeks the headlines scream of yet another Democrat indicted for theft of millions in public funds at the city/county level. (Continued…)
thedude
Tom Seemuth
posted 6/27/07 @ 9:25 PM EST
"I know it's counterintuitive, but participating in the system doesn't make you a bad person. In fact, the system gets better when good people participate in it. (Continued…)
Tom Seemuth
posted 6/28/07 @ 1:35 AM EST
jamers said: "That's funny.......I rarely hear him mentioned on CBS, NBC, ABC or between "All Things Considered" and string quartets on PBS (WSUI)..."
Well, you lost me after ABC. (Continued…)
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